Dear, could you please stop at the magical cave of edibles and purchase a headless egg lizard, a ball of crispy cellulose and some juice of beef creature?
With the Holiday Season upon us, many of us need party advice. So much to think about! Themes! Games! Food!
Whatever shall we do?
Follow these easy steps:
- “Avoid Sundays, if possible. Sundays attract relatives.”
- Great themes for a kids’ party:
Columbus Day- Celebrate colonialism, together!
Creatures of the Sea-Hey, kids, who wants to see my Snaggletooth? Or a Sarcastic Fringehead?
“Oriental”-It’s based on the entire East half of the whole world!
Cowboy and Indian-Guns! guns! guuuuns!
Hobo-Generally what they call all parties based on hot dogs.
Winter Sports-Yes, I’ll take 20 kids who aren’t mine onto an icy surface and hope no litigation follows.
Mothers and Dolls-Just yuck.
Backwards Party-It’s just, like, really low-budget so leave me alone.
3. And games, who likes games?
Pin the Cow in the bed- Requires A LOT of adult supervision.
Pig Race-This is for people with a really, really big yard.
Cotton Ball Toss-And this is for people with a LOT of time to fill.
Beans aplenty!-So, you just have a lot of beans. That’s the game.
Feel it!-There is so much potential for this to get weird.
Crazy auction-It’s crazy!
“Creative” activity-Thanks, Madge. I’ll make a note of that.
Rotative games-For miniature accountants.
Advertising Slogans hunt-Corporations own you, kids.
Burglary-Combine your kid’s party with a little money-makin’ side job!
A (mostly) found Sonnet.
An Olive cheese ball,
Lobster dip elegante–
Hot cheese dip with fruit.
Tidbits to tempt you-
Chicken cheese puff, hot ham buns-
French fried Camembert.
Keyed to a man’s taste,
Rates high with men.
It’s hard to beat cold cuts.
Remember, when cheese is melted, it’s cooked.
Versatile tuna is the star.
Our star here is fish.
What, really, IS a star, anyway?
Glamorous gourmet foods
Flaming walnut pate balls
a la blah-blah
Hey, is that corn salad in grapefruit cups?
Snappy western ham steaks
Sweet and wild relish
And smarty wonderchokes
Party apple creme
Orange nugget roast turkey
Coffee peach frappe